Punctureation Marks

In line with all good pressed men, I`d "volunteered" to serve as leader for the ride on the 24th November. Not wishing to be too ambitious first time out I opted for a simple to navigate 22 miler departing Kirkbymoorside at 10.00 am. Andy, his brother Chris, and I had done the route some months before. Fond memories of well surfaced tracks and moderate uphills punctuated by quiet, sun baked ashfelt convinced me the "Medium" rating, even on the quirkily random Neesam Scale, was just.

Dawn on the day witnessed 13 assorted lycra clad bodies emerging from the chilling fog to meet a scone`s throw from the George & Dragon in the high street. Three Newbies in the shapes of John, Chris the Younger and Chris the Less Younger had thrown themselves into the fray with a gusto only those who had never ridden with us before could muster. Dave having been unable to come, I made a daring attempt to replicate his introductions but failed somewhere amongst the Pauls or Marks. Tradition observed we plunged into the murk.

Striking West out of the town we followed the A170 for a short distance before forking right down a minor route that took us through a ford, then Northwest on a long flat section. After a few Kilometres we swung west on a surfaced track past Nawton Tower, invisible in the fog, then dived into a plantation to gain the days first experience of mud. A brief plug along the edge of a ploughed field saw us breaking on to Beadlam Rigg, and a straight hack North towards the interesting stuff.

At High Farm we paused to admire the classic lines of an as yet to be restored Mark 4 Cortina while Chris the Younger replaced the air that had vacated his tyre. Knowing, as leader, I was immune to punctures for the day, I confidently handed over my only inner tube. Having laid the first paving slab of good intention, the road to Puncture Hell had just been started..…

Sallying forth once again we made it as far as a gate by Stone Ruckles where John now noticed he was no longer pneumatically supported at one end of his bike. This seemed to provoke a rush of nervous tyre pinching amongst the rest of us resulting in Chris the Less Younger and Chris the Younger (again) discovering they also were losing PSI. Fortunately, whilst repairs were ongoing, Pete amused us all with his badger impersonations achieved entirely without moving his lips! In fact, so distracted was Judith, she failed to notice she too had joined the flat club until the other two had almost finished their repairs. Pete then demonstrated that not only could he mimic the elusive brock, but had an uncannily skilled wrist action in the operation of a short shaft pump to boot.

The fifth puncture rectified we ploughed on, down the muddy track, into Hagg Common and up on to Pockley Moor. As we climbed through the fog the temperature seemed to creep down and by the time we reached tarmac again the general consensus was to do something to warm ourselves up. Lacking hot volcanic springs to dive naked into, Kev came up with the next best thing in the shape of a cunningly neglected bridleway just off my planned route but with promisingly close contour lines indicating a rapid downhill motion. Inspired, we followed the diversion then threw ourselves on to a narrow piece of singletrack to die for. In fact some of us almost did. The gulf between the veterans and us also rans became painfully obvious as we proceeded to flatten the bracken with our bodies in a series of falls normally the domain of professional stuntmen. Getting to the road at the end of the section significantly after my bike had reached it, we paused yet again while I fixed the sixth puncture of the day.

Taking to the road again we sprinted down into Cockayne. On stopping by a gate to decide to either go up a hill in search of a mythical pub (not marked on the map) or continue on since we had lost so much time to punctures, John found he had flat number seven. It was a slow one so some new air was forced in and we continued. Branching East up a steepish track to Ouse Gill Head we put another three kilometres behind us before John`s puncture caused us to tarry again. Now, though, only the long hack of Rudland Rigg then a few more kilometres roadwork remained before us, so we slogged on into the fog, pausing only to unstick a 4 by 4 that had taken on the moors and lost. Gratitude was ample but hard cash reward lacking. Waiting for John, we discovered his tyre had once again given up its supporting role and fix number eight was undertaken.

This solved we dived on to the end of the rough stuff until Paul demonstrated his skill in puncture acquirement. While puncture number nine was fixed Chris the Younger hot dogged in the fog, showing us antiques what we could have achieved if the bike had been invented when we had been his age.

The waning light meant we had to dispense with the final off road section and most took the straight route back to Fadmoor then on to Kirkbymoorside. Several die hards opted to put in one more section of mud including an interesting dive through some woodland at the top of the town. Reflecting on the ride in front of the fire in the George & Dragon bar the general opinion was not a bad slog and good tyre removing practice!

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	Swaledale Outdoor Club

Punctureation Marks

Kev Stace