Small Crags in Northumberland

How (not) to go climbing with a baby

The plan was, since we were hardly going to be pushing our grades due to unfitness, changeable weather and changeable baby, to visit some of the smaller crags that you wouldn't bother driving to Northumberland for. This is where we went.

Corby's Crag

This is a pleasant low sandstone outcrop overlooking a picturesque valley complete with ruin. Since belaying while looking after an infant is a bit of an unpredictable affair, we made each other a solemn promise that we would only attempt anything well within our abilities. We had reckoned without the Northumberland grades!

Before long the following exchange occurred:

"Tony? Can you get down from there?"

"No."

"Shall I go and drop a rope down?"

"That would be appropriate."

Pick up uncoiled rope, stuff baby in rucksack, off up slimy descent route. Put down rope to negotiate steep section. Rope instantly transforms into 45m knot. Get to top, wedge baby in rucksack behind large rock. Baby howls. Start to pick at 45m knot. Time passes. Howls get louder. Exclamation "B*gger it!" met with brittle laughter from below. Finally rig rope, retrieve Tony, retrieve purple apoplectic infant. Phew.

"I really like this crag" said Tony. "We must come here again".

Ratcheugh Crag

This is right inside a wood so that you come upon it suddenly like some ruined Aztec temple deep in therain forest. It is the only crag we went to where the rock is Whinstone instead of sandstone, which would have been interesting to climb on if it hadn't been raining torrential at the time. So we didn't.

Dovestone Boulders

These climbs are all too hard for me as well as being friable and lichenous. We have the bouldering guide if anyone is interested.

NB you have to ask permission at the farmhouse.

Goat Crag

"We have to go to this crag" Tony declared. "It has a 6m V.Diff. called The Powerhouse of Athleticism".

You walk uphill through head-high ferns. Eleanor in the backpack was the only one of us who could see where she was going. When you emerge from the Carboniferous, you find yourself at the base of an interesting, crumbling, jutting sort of sandstone. The rock is full of funny little sills that break off when you touch them. It reminded me of a climb in a cave I explored once, dubbed Premature Ejaculation Climb on account of its tendency to come off in your hands.

The Powerhouse of Athleticism was duly vanquished although I did witter a bit at the lack of gear. This was typical of the area - the more unfrequented the crag, the more all the cracks flared the wrong sort of way. And we enjoyed doing a few other easy things. The local heroes obviously work out under the overhangs but this was way way way beyond our abilities!

Again, you need to ask at the farmhouse.

Simonside Church Rock

Don't bother.

Simonside North Face

We walked up to Simonside via the Northumbria Tourist Authority Archaeological Trail (this is not compulsory). The woods are full of Bronze Age burial cairns but some of the other items on the trail owe a bit to the enthusiastic imagination of the leaflet writer. "These marks on the rock could be natural, but look man-made". "It is not hard to imagine that this rock must have provided shelter to the Neolithic traveller"

Simonside crag was a bit of a shock. The rock is, well, solid. The gear placements, er, exist. And you can tackle something graded MVS and actually get up it. We had a lot of fun and there are marvellous views of the Cheviots. Recommended if you want to climb in the easy / middle grades.

Selby's Cove

The guidebook says that although remote, this outcrop of superb sandstone is well worth a visit. But I think I could have missed this one out and my life would not have been too much the poorer. OK, it rained, Eleanor was teething, and I can't bridge the way I used to. Time to go to the pub.

And that was it, back South to wage slavery. Now you may say, why didn't they go to Kyloe or Bowden Doors and do some proper climbing. But we enjoyed our mini excursions off the beaten track and I would certainly go back to some of these crags (but not Selby's Cove!)

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